So what is true love?  Some may say that it’s the feeling you have when you fall madly in love with someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them.  Others may say that true love is the feeling a parent has for their children.  Still other people may say true love happens when you feel close to God.

All of these can be definite expressions of true love but…  What happens to this love if your spouse does something that hurts you deeply?  What if your lovely child comes home to tell you they quit school and your car they borrowed for the day is now a total write-off?  What if it seems your prayers have gone unanswered and it feels as if God has totally forgotten about you?  These feelings of love can suddenly turn to feelings of anger and resentment.

True love is not based on feelings that come and go with circumstances that are happening around you.  What I’m talking about is God’s love working in you when things are going along fine and also when there are some rough spots in our lives.  God puts this love in our hearts when we ask Jesus into our lives and to help us live for Him.  This love is actually a quality decision to think and act a certain way.  It is spelt out fully in the bible in 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8.  I like these verses from the Amplified Bible because it explains this love of God fully. 

“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.  It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly.  Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].  It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.  Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].  Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” (AMP)

This is how we’re supposed to treat others and how we’re supposed to react when other people treat us badly.  Only God can give us this love supernaturally.  It is not’t something that we can manufacture ourselves, at least not on a consistent basis.  I also like to think of love as a muscle, the more you use it the stronger it becomes.  Likewise, by not using this love “muscle” you will become weaker!

Let me stress that this does not mean we’re to stay in a situation that is dangerous or abusive.  We should choose to leave to a place of safety, but still forgive, love, and pray for the individual who has hurt us.

What has worked well for me and also a number of others, is to memorize most of these verses, especially the parts where you have the most challenge.  It is also good to imagine yourself acting in love while you’re in some very difficult situations.  This way you’ll be more prepared when they do happen (because difficult situations happen to all of us).

Notice that two of the examples I gave to start out with had to do with life in our homes.  Remember, it’s often a whole lot easier to act loving when we’re out in public than when we relax at home.  This is where we “let our hair down” so to speak and so we need to keep our guard up even more at home. 

Now, I know no one is perfect, so when we mess up be quick to apologize.  When we live a life of love we can have peace in a chaotic world.